Tuesday, January 10, 2012

and the important thing is

I read a passage that I really liked in "Still Alice".  Alice was asking her daughter about her new boyfriend.  The questions were as follows":

  1. What's he like?  (notice it's not "What's he do?")
  2. What's he like with you? (concern for child)
  3. (and, my personal favourite and the reason I am writing this) What are you like with him?
To the final question, the daughter thinks, smiles and answers, "Myself."

That seems to me to be the most important thing, the factor that determines whether a relationship will work or not, whether you will be happy or not.  Are you yourself when you are with your partner?  I think back to some early relationships where I was drooling over a guy, embarrassed to reveal everything about myself because I thought I wasn't cool enough or would come up lacking.  But I got lucky (ode to Steve).  I can really answer "myself" to that question.  Stubborn, passionate, hesitant, careful, impetuous, cheesy, thoughtful...I got a guy who wants (or who'll take) it all.

What are you like with him?  I was able to answer that easily, for which I'm grateful.

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